What Do We Need?

Life is full of ups and downs, and at times we can feel unsettled, stuck, or unsure of what we really need. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a simple way of looking at the different layers of human wellbeing, from our most basic needs like food and safety to deeper needs like belonging, confidence, and personal growth. Understanding this framework can help us make sense of why we might be struggling and show us where counselling could provide support.

You may have heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs at some point, maybe in school, work, or in a book about psychology. At its heart, it’s simply a way of understanding what humans need in order to grow, feel fulfilled, and live meaningful lives. It can be surprisingly useful to think about in day-to-day life, because it helps us notice what might be missing when we feel stuck, unsettled, or unmotivated.

The five levels of needs

Maslow pictured our needs as a pyramid with five layers. The idea is that we usually focus on the basics before moving to the higher levels.

1. Physiological needs

These are the essentials that keep us alive: food, water, sleep, shelter, and rest. If these are not met, it is very hard to focus on anything else. Think about how difficult it is to concentrate when you are hungry or exhausted.

2. Safety needs

Once our basic survival is taken care of, we look for security. This includes things like having a safe home, financial stability, and good health. It’s about having a sense that tomorrow is not going to be dangerous or unpredictable.

3. Social needs (love and belonging)

We are social creatures, and relationships are central to our wellbeing. This level is about friendships, family, community, and feeling that we belong somewhere. Loneliness can affect us deeply because it touches this part of the pyramid.

4. Esteem needs

When we feel safe and connected, we start to focus on how we see ourselves. This stage is about confidence, self-worth, recognition, and respect from others. It’s about knowing we have value and that our efforts matter.

5. Self-actualisation

At the very top is the desire to reach our full potential. This isn’t aiming for perfection and is different for everyone. For some it may mean being creative, for others it may mean helping others, pursuing a dream, or living in alignment with personal values.

Moving up and down the hierarchy

It’s important to know that we don’t climb this pyramid once and then stay at the top. Life events can move us up and down. A job loss, a health scare, or the end of a relationship might suddenly bring us back to focusing on safety or belonging, even if we were previously feeling confident and fulfilled. This is normal, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing. What it shows is that our needs shift depending on what’s happening in our lives.

How counselling can help

Counselling can support people at every level of this hierarchy. Sometimes therapy offers a safe and reliable space when your world feels uncertain. At other times it provides the experience of being listened to and understood, which strengthens your sense of belonging. Counselling can also help you build self-esteem, develop confidence, and explore what truly matters to you so that you can work towards living in a way that feels authentic.

By reflecting on where you are in the hierarchy, you can start to understand what you might need right now. For some people that may mean focusing on small practical steps like rest and routine. For others it could be about repairing relationships, or exploring personal goals and creativity. Counselling can be a supportive place to look at all of this and to move forward at your own pace.

A gentle guide

Maslow’s hierarchy is not a rigid rulebook, but it can be a helpful guide. It reminds us that growth takes steps and that it is normal to need support at different times. By paying attention to these needs, you can begin to notice what might help you feel more balanced and more able to move towards the life you want.

If any of this resonates with you, counselling can be a space to reflect, understand yourself more fully, and explore what might help you feel more balanced. I am here to walk alongside you if you feel ready to take that step.